A Bond Is Not Better Than a Title


One day my dad brought something to my attention. He asked, “Why do ya’ll say ‘cuffing’? That doesn’t sound pleasant. That sounds painful. What ever happened to courting? Dating?” He was on to something..

This generation is good for taking once treasured things and making a mockery of them. Take relationships for example: People my age put such a negative connotation on relationships.

We say being in a relationship is being “cuffed” or “tied down” like we’re trapped or chained to someone. You shouldn’t feel shackled or feel like it’s a chore to be faithful to the person you say you love. Or when you treat your partner with the utmost respect, we say you’re “whipped” as if holding the door open for your girl is something that’s out the way when it use to be just a typical thing you do.

And this whole “we know what we got”, “a bond is better than a title” ying yang people have been yapping about is half full of BS. There’s nothing wrong with showing your significant other off. Scream it from the hills that you love them. Why are ya’ll so ashamed?

No, everyone shouldn’t know your business but they should know ya’ll are together. Listen, we don’t even say dating. We say we’re “talking” or “it’s complicated.” We’re even afraid of “titles”.  I even see some guy say on twitter: “Titles cause nothing but trouble.” LMFAO HOW? What is so bad about that? How are you going to strive to be married one day and you don’t even want to call the person you claim “to be the one” your girlfriend/boyfriend? That’s where it all starts. I’m sorry but if I’m dating a guy, eventually I will ask what his intentions are. I need a definition of what we are.  How can you play a part but not even know your title? Plus, if you love someone wouldn’t you want to claim them? Wouldn’t you want to make it exclusive with them? Make them yours?

Whenever I hear someone say, “A bond is better than a title” I hear: “What I’m really saying is I don’t want to put a name on what this is because I’m not ready and/or do I want to play the part. So, basically I want to hook up with you but… I also want to keep my options open.” Then just say that instead of “a bond is better than a title.” All I ask for is honesty.

If you think about it, everyone in your life has a title. Mom, dad, friend, best friend, brother, sister, teacher, boss… So why would you make this person that you’re intimate with emotionally physically with an exception? When someone asks you who is that person to you whether it’d be a family member or friend, you have a title for them right? “That’s my best friend.” “That’s my co-worker.” How do you look talking bout, “Oh yeah, that’s the chick I have a bond with remember?”

Now I will say I don’t think titles make everything. Of course the actual bond is more of a priority. You shouldn’t get all wound up about a title if you aren’t playing the part but don’t get confused:

There’s a vast difference between saying “That’s um…a friend.” “That’s my girlfriend.” and

“That’s my wife.”

Also, did people ever think, “Hmm, instead of having one or the other why don’t we have the bond AND  the title? Hmm…”


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    Amen on every part of this.

  2. I totally agree! Thanks for posting this 🙂

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