You know… everyone in some point in life struggles. Everyone (or mostly) everyone has a struggle specific to them. Today we’re going to talk about the big girl struggle, the “fat girl” struggle, the plus size struggle.
I’ve always been a fluffy girl. Yes, fluffy. If anyone knows what it’s like to live in a small world being a big girl, it’s me. Follow along as I explain the annoying things I have to go through on a daily basis as a plus size girl if you care to know…
1.) When people tell me I have a cute face or I’m pretty for a big girl. I just need to have a whole church sermon about this because this just drives me up a wall. I already have a blog post about it: https://delafro19.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/stop-telling-me-im-pretty-for-a-big-girl/. Peep that for my elaboration of why that makes me want to claw my eyes out.
2.) When skinny girls call themselves fat around me. “Oh my gosh, I am so fat,” they say as they poke at their rib. “Ugh, my stomach is getting fat,” as they tug at their skin. -_____- First of all, you know and I know that you are far from fat. Second of all, honey, you do realize that I am significantly larger than you? I’m probably at least 70 pounds heavier than you so when you call yourself fat–when you’re at a solid 120-150–you’re basically subliminally telling me I am Godzilla and I’m filling up the whole room with my jelly rolls. You see where I’m going with this? You’re insulting me while you’re “bringing yourself down.” And it’s funny because you don’t even realize it. Shaking. My. Head.
3.) Not being able to find anything in my size. Just imagine you see this perfect pair of jeans on display–like jeans that you must have, right now, no matter how much they cost, they must be in your legal possession. Now imagine looking at the size tags and not finding your size. Now imagine going through that every time you go shopping–or at least attempt to go shopping. One time, when I was in high school, I went school shopping with my dad. Of course that includes looking for new clothes. When I tell you that nothing fit, I mean nothing fit. At all. It was so bad that I started sobbing in the car. It is such a struggle for a plus size girl to find clothes that not only fit but are cute and affordable. I support the idea of Torrid and Lane Bryant but Tor and Lane are both high–they’re expensive. A pair of jeans at Forever 21 is like no more than $30 but a simple pair of jeans at Torrid is at least $50. Are you kidding me? Cheap clothes that fit me looks like things the occupants of a nursing home would wear. I just wish more stores ran clothes in a larger range of sizes. Just…ugh.
4.) When guys follow me on Instagram but unfollow me when I post a full body pic. Now this actually makes me laugh out loud. I notice everything. One thing that I’ve always noticed but never say: my Instagram page is private and my profile picture is my face. Most of my pictures on my profile are selfies. It’s not because I hate my body or anything. I just tend to take a lot of selfies LOL. Guys will either A. send me a follow request, I approve it, they see me in all my splendor and unfollow me or B. they’ll follow me for a while but once I put a full picture of me and my body, they unfollow me. This happens more often than you would think. And trust me, I notice. And it actually stings a l(ot)ittle.
5.) When I say I want to lose weight and people think I hate myself. Whenever I reveal that I’m on a weight loss journey people will always be like: “But you’re fine just the way you are!” “You look fine!” No. No. No. No. You didn’t even ask me why I want to lose weight. You just assumed that because I want to lose weight, it’s because I find myself repulsive, not because I want to be healthier. No. I love myself. I may have my days where I feel like crap but I do believe I’m beautiful, inside and out. I love myself enough to know that my body deserves to be healthier. I owe it my body, my temple that contains my soul, to take better care of it. I owe it to myself to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without running out of breath or escaping my chances of being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes that runs rampant within my family. When I say I want to lose weight, just nod your head, and say “I’m here for support.”
6.) When I’m overlooked simply because of my weight. Now listen, I’m not just talking about with guys. I mean in life in general. I’m also an actor if I haven’t stated that before. One factor of being an actor is that my body is also a deciding factor of what role I’ll get assigned. I’m usually cast as the jolly, funny best friend or the villain -___-. With guys, I’m use to being pushed aside or being “friendzoned” because they find me unattractive. Even when guys approach me and my friends, I know that they’re not talking to me because if I was by myself, they would’ve just brushed by. I’m not going to lie to you. It does hurt and it does bother me–to an extent. I have to remind myself frequently that it’s not my loss–it’s theirs because I am a great catch no matter what and if they want to brush past me because of something superficial then that’s their loss not mine. I would want someone who would love me in all my shapes and sizes as corny and cliche as that sounds.
7.) Being told to dress my size. Hear me out on this. I get it. I don’t believe that anyone should wear anything that’s not flattering to their body. That’s just my personal belief. It’s not my place to tell you what you can and can’t wear but that doesn’t stop other people. Skinny girls parade around half naked all the time, with their shorts all up the crest of their butts and no one says anything but let a bigger girl wear something showing some skin and people flip all the way out. They yell, “Dress your size!” What is that suppose to mean? Now listen, I am a fluffy girl and I know that there’s some things that skinny girls can wear that I can’t wear and I accept that but just like ya’ll hound the big girls to put away the crop tops, you need to be telling the little girls that they need to bring their shorts down a notch. OK? Ok.
8.) Being doubted because of my weight. What I mean is people doubting my physicality and agility because of my weight. I love to dance and step and I’m known for being good at them too, not tooting my own horn or anyting *toots horn*. But prior to people knowing I can move, I guess they assumed I couldn’t because of my size. For example, when I first showcased my stepping in middle school, people freaked out and were so surprised. I honestly don’t think I’m any better than the next dancer. I just think that because I’m overweight people doubt I can keep up with smaller folks. Welp. You’re wrong my lad. Someone even told me that I reminded them of Tracy from Hairspray… -___- LOL. I knew what they were getting at too. Anything skinny people can do, we can do better. Trust me.
9.) Last but not least: The Slander. I’ve been bullied my whole childhood. I’m not even exaggerating. I’ve been through it all. Every fat joke, every poke at my thigh or stomach, I’ve seen and been through it all. People try to downplay it but when I look back I’m proud of myself for sticking it through because I was ridiculed so much that most kids would’ve probably took their own life. It was hard. Being called fat, sloppy, tubby. Having kids make fun of my stretch marks and call them “wrinkles.” But I made it. I hate the word victim. It makes me feel helpless. I’m a victor because I overcame the bullying and it’s made me stronger than ever. I now know that people who feel the need to bring others down, are already down themselves. They just want people to be brought down with them. Don’t listen to them. You are beautiful. Yes, you are fluffy but that just means there’s more to love about you. Tell the haters to kiss your fat ass ok boo boo?
All in all, those are the things I go through being a big girl. It’s annoying but it’s life. Any other my plus size beauties go through things similar to this?