Perks of Being in the Friendzone


I know what you’re thinking. Where is this girl going with this? Hear me out ok lol.

This isn’t about me going on and on about how I don’t need a man to satisfy me or me trying to convince you that I’m happy single but you know deep down inside I want a relationship.


Nothing like that at all. I’m just reflecting and exploring. Bear with me. Here goes:

Being in the friendzone has its perks. Trust me. I’m not only in the friendzone, I reside there. I have a house with a white picket fenced yard and a Bichon Frise named Toodles.

I’ve always been in the friendzone. I’ll let you in on a little secret.

I’m 20 years old and I’ve never had a boyfriend. Never. I’ve never been on an actual date nor have I ever brought anyone home to meet my parents. I’ve never been in love (at from what I see, I don’t know if I want to) plus I haven’t seriously “talk” to someone before. I’ve never been the desirable one out of my group of friends. I usually play the role of the goofy, overweight, “she’s really nice” friend of the group. The friend that guys ask about my other friends. Mhmm. Yep, that’s my life.

For the longest I use to be envious of other girls who got attention from guys and/or had a relationship. While all my friends were with their boyfriends, I had pizza and arizona tea. I’m starting to sound bitter? I promise I’m not. This all just facts LOL.

It use to bother me. A lot. But then one day, I changed my mindset. I don’t know why, I just did. I realized that it’s not the end of the world if I haven’t found someone yet. And that was the problem, I don’t find someone. He finds me. I realized that there’s so much more to life than just having attention from guys and having a boyfriend. Usually relationships don’t work out, not all, but most, especially at my age. I see mistakes my friends make and I learn from them. Having not to go through serious heart break is a perk but seeing it just makes me realize that I never want to go through that…ever.

I also realized that it’s not in everyone’s destiny to find love. True, irrevocable love is rare…extremely rare. I’ve only witnessed it once.

Being single doesn’t mean that I sit around and throw a pity party. Being single is the perfect time to find yourself and figure out what you want to achieve in your life. Being single means you don’t have to worry about someone else. You do what you want, when you want. Being single doesn’t mean mope and feel lonely, it’s appreciating your friends and family who love you all the same, flaws and all. (I know, I’m getting corny but hear me out.)

Being on my own has given me time to see how other girls get walked over and I refuse to make their mistakes. It’s given me time to figure out what I want in a man and what I don’t want in a man. I’ve figured that I will make myself happy and love myself. And I’ve also become content with the possibility that I may not find “the one.”

It’s not the end of the world.

I believe that not everyone is meant to have someone. I do believe that some people were meant to be together but to say everyone has a soulmate…nah. That’s just what I believe in.

I don’t know about you but I’m fine in the friendzone because I’d rather be here than unhappy and hurt in a relationship.


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